Twenty seventeen to the whole year of twenty eighteen was tough. But I guess this story is a perfect example of the phrase; "Life is tough, but so are you, and so is your God." This is just how it really works. Sometimes, no, most of the time, you have to learn things the hard way.
Mid twenty seventeen, I can still remember how caught up I am with proving myself that I am excellent in living my life. Talking about work, saving up, adventure, trying new things, writing songs and poetry, all I have done to keep myself focused on life that I thought I am living to the fullest. And yes, I did forget something. This life is not just about me.
It is good that you are excellent in the things you do because God uses them to let the people know that He is God, that he lifts up His people, that He is able even when we are not. But forgetting that very purpose along the way is not a good thing. not at all. For that, God will always find a way to take your attention and your intentions back to Him. And He did that to me again and again this year. When a child is lost, a Father doesn't just wait but looks to find and brings her home.
Things were planned out for me to apply for a working permit in Canada and I was really excited with just the thought of that. Me in Canada with my family and relatives is something that warms my heart every time I think of it. But I guess 2017 is still not the time for me. August 2017, I was diagnosed with Pulmonary Tuberculosis. Sometimes, things just come unexpectedly and it will teach you to get on your knees and believe that "all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."(Romans8:28) even when it hurts, so much. I had to go through 6 months of strict treatment, and had to isolate myself for a while once I start taking up medications. Going through this battle without my parents, and just me going to the doctor, feeding and looking out for myself were never easy. It cost me money, my confidence, my job, and even some of my friends. From 2017 to early 2018, I fought with insecurities from the time I open my eyes in the morning to the moment I close them at night. But none of the pain and tears were useless. God met me where I am. It was the season I found my way home again. It was the season He brought me back into His purpose, His security, His peace, and His love. And it was beautiful, every detail was.
Came April 2018, my doctor told me I'm good to go for the application, hoping that Canada won't mind the scars left in my left lung. Tests were done just to make sure that I'm already healed. I am finally getting God's go signal, so I started my application right away. But here comes another battle; "the waiting." the first and second months were fine, third was a bit dragging and then the fourth came, and I got so tired that I can feel my bones falling apart. I have lost my interest in doing things, in going to work, felt like I'm losing my ground and my passion. There was so much pressure at work that I wanted to just quit because I realized that it's taking all my time, even my time for God and for my family. I prayed, seeking God if I should quit now or wait a little longer for my visa to be approved, because I don't know how to survive without a job and without a pay. God met me there once again, reassuring me that He is a provider, that "all things work together for the ones He called." That time, Faith and Trust asked their way into my heart, and I let them in. I quit my job. I started to spend more time in my personal walk and in the ministry. My last day at work happened, was sad and still a bit scared of what's next. Then after 3 days, my working permit was approved. After 2 weeks, I just found myself waking up in Canada. Haha! It was a tough ride huh. But I thank God for giving me just what I need to get through everything. I am grateful, most especially to the people He used, the people I encounter, and the people I welcomed in my heart before this year ended. I spent my Christmas season with my family after many Christmas seasons of not being with them. WHAT A YEAR ENDER! Thinking this is the kind of God I worship, I get goose bumps all the time! You see, your destiny is already written, but getting there won't be easy. Because God has a great destiny for you, and something great will cost you a lot. But it's not the matter of how long you have to wait and how much you have to go through but it's always a matter of getting there anyway. As what we always hear; "If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain." (I just watched Dumplin' on Netflix. Lol.) Take the process, and embrace the process. When you get there, you'll have everything you need. Never stop growing and seeking God. I promise you, you will never be the same again.
